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The Touch

by Nomthi

Recently, I read about an old violin that was put up for auction. It was battered and scarred. The auctioneer thought it wasn’t worth spending much time and effort on but he still held it up with a smile and shouted: “What am I bidding, good folks?Who’ll start the bidding for me? A dollar;” then, “two! Only two? Two dollars, and who’ll make it three? Three dollars once, three dollars twice; going for three….” But no. A gray-haired man from the back of the room, stepped forward and picked up the bow. He wiped the dust from the old violin, tightened the loose strings and played a sweet and pure melody.

The auctioneer and the people at the auction didn’t really see any good in the violin nor imagine it as an instrument that could produce something melodious, sweet and pure. All they saw were its scars and brokenness. They must have thought that nothing praiseworthy, like that sweet rendition, could have emerged from it. Hence, they were not ready to take a chance on it until it was dusted and refurbished by the old man.

Sadly, people most times behave in this manner. We come in contact every now and then with people whose lives seem out of tune—broken, battered and bruised. And we think that no good can ever emanate from them, hence we write them off. It’s easier to attach the least significance to, give up on and rationalize that that person, who had lived all his or her life on the street as a member of a notorious gang, is beyond redemption irrespective of his antecedent or what led him to the streets.

We find in the Bible thatSaul of Tarsus was a notorious persecutor of the church. He was instrumental to the jailing, maiming and death of so many believers during the early days of the church. That was until he had an encounter with the One who specializes in turning around people’s lives from the worst to the very best and gives a message out of a mess. After conversion, Saul, now Paul, took the message of the Kingdom to the Gentiles and single-handedly wrote about a third of the New Testament. What a transformation!

In our opening story, the man with the gray hair stepped forward, picked up, dusted, and demonstrated the violin’s use and worth. We all can choose to act like that old man by picking up someone who is wounded or broken, and with love restore hope, trust, confidence, dignity, purpose and faith in him or her. Better still, we can pattern our lives after that of our wonderful Saviour who out of compassion came to rescue us from the throes of death and destruction, and gave us the God-kind of life in abundance. We should strive, and indeed make it a habit,to constantly touch people’s lives with compassion.

The Power of a Kind Gesture

by Nomthi

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”–Leo Buscaglia

A lady told me of her experience way back in school. She had ceased going to church for a very long time because she got discouraged by the conducts of her leaders in church. One day, a friend of hers living in the next room invited her to their fellowship and she decided to honour the invitation and go along with her friend to a Sunday service. She admitted feeling at home in the company of other worshippers, but immediately the sermon ended, just before the grace was shared, she left the worship auditorium. But something happened that had a great impact on her and the course of her life.

Just as she was leaving the sanctuary, the vice president of the fellowship walked towards her, greeted her with a genuine and broad smile, and told her “God bless you.” That became a game changer for this sister, who had wandered far away from the loving arms of her Father in heaven. Something resonated deep within her despite the few words spoken by this pastor, and from that moment she decided to be a member of that fellowship. All through her days on that campus, she served as a full-fledged, dedicated member of the fellowship and was even appointed as a hall pastor before she left.

It is pertinent to say at this point that this sister had visited other fellowships prior to this encounter because despite being far away from God, something deep within her had always yearned for her Maker. But the turning point for her came through a channel who allowed himself to be used by God with just a few words and a genuine smile that reflected the love of Christ.

The simplest of things we make available to God can be used by Him to achieve the greatest of all miracles. Take for instance, the miracle of feeding the five thousand men with the lunch pack of a little boy, which was five loaves and two fishes, in John 6:5-15. If the boy had held on to that lunch and did not release it for the Master’s use, they would not have experienced that wonderful miracle of feeding the multitude, inclusive of the fragments (left overs) which filled twelve baskets after all the people had eaten to satisfaction.

I want to encourage us today to avail ourselves of every opportunity to be a blessing to someone. We don’t have to do anything extraordinary, but even the little that we do with genuineness of the heart can be used by God to work wonders that have long-lasting impacts in other people’s lives.We are in a peculiar time and are saddled with peculiar challenges. Let’s make a decision to be the Lord’s eyes, ears, legs, mouth and hands in our present world by being sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and not turn a deaf ear or blind eye to the needs of those around us.

 

What Do You Envisage?

by Nomthi

14 After Lot had gone, the Lord said to Abram, “Look as far as you can see in every direction—north and south, east and west. 

15 I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your descendants as a permanent possession. (Genesis 13: 14-15) NLT

Compliments of the seasons!

Welcome to your year of open doors, new dreams and possibilities.It’s not unusual for most of us, at the beginning of a new year, to deeply reflect on the events of the previous year,evaluate our achievements or non-achievements, re-strategize and plans for the year ahead.Looking back, the past year was, for some of us, indeed wonderful despite the economic recession. For others it was just okay, while some had it really tough. Irrespective of how the previous year went, we are still in a good place to offer up thanks to the Lord, who has kept us this far in spite of everything. Remember, it is only the living that can praise the Lord, re-strategize, pray and work towards a better year.

It’s a brand new day, a brand new year. Irrespective of how we fared in the previous year, it is time to let go of past accomplishments or non-accomplishments and look forward to something better. Paul in Philippians 3:13 said,“…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Despite Paul’s numerous accomplishments in the past, he refused to let the past hold him down from reaching forth to something new and better.

Often times we get trapped in past glory or failure,and allow it dictate and control the rest of our lives. This is not the way God would have us live; the path or life of a child of God should always get better and brighter. Your yesterday should not be better than your today or tomorrow. So whether it is a past success or failure, don’t allow it to deter you from reaching forth to new dreams and heights in 2017.

Are you finding it difficult to dream again and draw up new goals?I have a simple piece of advice for you: Go back to God and ask Him to give you a new dream or vision that is in alignment with His purpose for your life. He will give you new dreams and ideas,and if there is a need for the dreams which you once had to be resurrected, He will bring it alive in you once again.

It is essential to have a dream for 2017 because it is what you see that you will draw to yourself and receive.Take the life of Abraham as an example. God had earlier promised to give the land of Canaan to him and his descendants, but He had to bring him out in the cool of the evening and instructed him to look all around him so he could have a mental picture in his heart. God told him specifically that the land would be given to him as far as his eyes could see. Simply put, if you can envisage it, you can have 2017-IMAGEit. So what do you see happening to you and your loved ones in 2017?

Stay blessed!

What are you saying to that child?

by Nomthi

“You this stupid child, don’t you have any sense? You are too slow and forgetful, will you ever amount to any good in life?” Does this sound familiar? Do you once in a while hear an angry mother in the heat of anger throw these kinds of words at her wards/children? And when you try to dissuade her from using such strong and careless words, she tells you things like: “I didn’t really mean that, it came out unconsciously because I was provoked, the curse of a parent does not really stick….”

A lot of times we say things to our children or those around us, especially in a fit of anger, without weighing the consequences. Most times a person cannot go beyond the words spoken into his or her life. A child who grew up hearing positive, loving and encouraging words will grow upto be self-confident — with a can-do spirit and the ability to reciprocate love. However, a person who all through his or her life constantly heard negative, critical and condemning words will most likely be emotionally destabilized, insecure and timid.

People are products of the words they have heard or read. Consider, for instance, the renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson who as a child was labeled a dummy by his classmates. He regularly brought home from school bad test grades and report cards. After a while he became convinced that he was the “dumbest kid in the fifth grade”, but his mother’s timely intervention set him on a new path of self-discovery and re-orientation. He and his elder brother were mandated by their mother to read two library books per week and submit a written report on what they had read. Also the time they spent watching television was drastically reduced to two programs per week.

Ben Carson realized that by reading he could be whoever he wanted to be. The encouraging words he heard from his mother and the knowledge (words) he gained from reading voraciously turned around his story from being the class dummy to a force to reckon with in his chosen field of endeavor. In his words, “If my mother had not been such a positive influence in my life, and had not stressed education as much as she did, I would definitely not have made it into medicine. I probably wouldn’t have found my way to college at all.”

If his mother had poured out her frustrations on him by calling him names when he brought home very poor test grades and report cards, his belief about being “the dumbest kid” in fifth grade would further have been reinforced. Rather she encouraged him to give his best and settle for nothing less than doing his best for himself and others.

We should be mindful of the words we speak to our children/wards as they often go a long way in shaping their future. Speak only the things you want to see in their lives. Remember, there is the power of life and death in your tongue.

The Power of Words

by Nomthi

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“The words of the reckless pierce like sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverb 12:18 (NIV)

There is an old adage that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”And an adage is a traditional saying which expresses a common experience or observation. It conveys ancient wisdom that expresses a general truth which overtime has become acceptable. Sticks and stones indeed can break a person’s bone but the effects most times are neither long-lasting nor life-altering. But a reckless word, contrary to this adage, possesses the capacity to crush a person beyond their physical body.

Words, either spoken or written, are means of communication. We convey our thoughts, feelings and emotions through our words. Though intangible, our words carry enormous weight, much more than we realize or think. They often impact people’s lives for decades, even when the speaker has long forgotten what he or she said, thereby providing the courage to either press on or one more reason to give up.

In this part of the world (Nigeria), there is a saying that likens the effects of our words to a raw egg smashed on the ground. When you smash an egg, it’s impossible to still have it as a complete piece (shell and content). To make it clearer, Jodi Picoult said (and I totally agree with her), “Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” This saying gives us an insight into the effects or power of words. Once uttered, it can’t be unuttered or retracted. You can retract a word verbally or in writing, but in the minds of the person you uttered that word to, whether good or bad, it will always linger. So there is the need for us to be careful with our words.

Someone once narrated to me the effect of her friend’s mother’s words on her life, after the separation of her parents as a pre-teen. She had difficulty coping with the sudden change of having to live with a parent. With the subsequent arrival of a new woman of the house less than a year after her mother’s departure, she became rebellious. One day, this dear old lady (her friend’s mother) called her and asked her this simple question: “Where are you going to?” She was unable to answer.  She then sat her down and spoke lovingly to her, greatly encouraging her. Those words spoken to her on that particular day, which began with a question, changed the course of her life forever.

Some have however not been this fortunate to hear words that set them on the right course for the rest of their lives. Rather than words of encouragement, affirmation and inspiration, all they have heard are words of discouragement, criticism and demoralization—words that have constantly plowed or beaten them down. When we are not careful with the choice of ours words, we do more harm than good and most times end up leading people on the negative or destructive paths.

In a world where feelings of unwantedness, insecurity and despair are prevalent, our words should be used to build up lives, make people feel wanted, useful, secured, and to bring healing to the downtrodden or hurting. In our day-to-day activities, our conversations should be guided by Ephesians 4:29, which admonishes us not to allow unwholesome (unhealthy) words come out of our mouths; rather, they should be words that are suitable for the moment and edify(words that build up and give grace to our hearers). We should always bear in mind that our words have the capacity to shape other people’s reality. We could be piercing them with a sword or soothing them with the balms of our lips.

Depression

by Nomthi

Although almost everyone at one time or the other experiences a period of sadness, most people get over it within a short time. But for some people, the sadness continues and degenerates into depression. Studies show that the rates of depression in women are twice as high as they are in men. This is due in part to hormonal factors; could be premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), postpartum depression, pre or post-natal depression and peri-menopausal depression. The good news however is that depression can be contained.

Now, depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behaviour, feelings and sense of well-being.

Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people do not feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or in the case of men, may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.

It is important to note that depressed mood is not always a psychiatric disorder. It may also be a normal reaction to certain life events, a symptom of some medical conditions, or a side effect of some drugs or medical treatments.

The truth is that there is no single cause of depression. You can develop it for different reasons and it has many different triggers. For some, an upsetting or stressful life event – such as bereavement, birth, divorce, illness, redundancy and job or money worries – can be the cause. Other causes include abuse (physical, sexual, medication); conflict; death or a loss; and genetics.

After giving birth, some women experience postnatal depression, and it has led to a number of maternal deaths. Often, different causes combine to trigger depression.

Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just will not go away, it could be depression: insomnia or oversleeping; inability to concentrate or finding that previously easy tasks are now difficult; feeling of hopelessness and helplessness; pessimism or uncontrollable negative thoughts; persistent sadness, including fits of crying either uncontrollably or being set off easily; feelings of anxiety or emptiness; unusual weight gain or loss, overeating or appetite loss; irritable, short-tempered, or more aggressive than usual; forgetfulness, or feeling a sense that life is hopeless, pointless and futile; recklessness or suicidal thoughts.

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that go along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain.

However, as terrible as it sounds, there are ways to overcome depression:

  • Accept that you are depressed.
  • Recognise the cause of the depression; knowing the cause will make dealing with it easy.
  • Keep company of happy people. (Proverbs 13:20)
  • Seek medical care (if necessary).
  • Fellowship with God. Edward Welch, a licensed neuropsychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counselling& Educational Foundation in Philadelphia, encourages the people he counsels to speak to God, and “if the pain is too strong, and there are no words, to read from the book of Psalms.”He suggests that they “speak the hard things from our hearts to the Lord.”
  • Other suggestions include limiting the consumption of caffeine and alcohol because they can aggravate anxiety or trigger panic attacks; eating healthy and exercising often (this not only helps keep you fit, there is also the release of a rush of endorphins which makes you feel instantly happier).

James 1:2 asks us to “Consider it all joy when we fall into various trials.” Notice that James does not tell us to feel joyful; he tells us to reckon, to choose to think about our situation from a joyful perspective.

Even when you experience unpleasant situations, either at work or in the home, it does not have to degenerate into depression. If you are however depressed, understand that suicide is not the solution. Seek solace in the Word of God and the company of those around you who are happy. As the scripture commands, “Rejoice always,” regardless of what is happening around you or to you. You can make a commitment to be joyful!