The term ‘coming out of the closet’ is used to describe the process of a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) person accepting his/her sexual orientation/identity and sharing that identity with others.

The dialogue surrounding homosexuality is increasing both at home and abroad. Presently 15 countries, including the UK and South Africa, allow same-sex marriages. There are also some states in Mexico and the USA that allow same-sex couples to wed.  On Thursday, 30th May, 2013, Nigeria’s parliament adopted the Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill, a law that foresees up to 14 years imprisonment (or death in 12 northern states) for gay, lesbian and bisexual people who marry or display affection – this is labelled the harshest piece of legislation against LGBT people in the world. This bill has been widely condemned throughout the world as unnecessary (as no-one had ever asked for same-sex marriage in Nigeria).

There have been many different explanations on why homosexuality occurs. Below are three common schools of thought:

1. For many homosexuals, they strongly believe that their sexual orientation is biological and cannot be changed. They reason that, just as being ‘straight’ is not a conscious choice, neither is being gay.
2. Sigmund Freud’s basic theory of human sexuality believes that all human beings were innately bisexual, and that they become heterosexual or homosexual as a result of their experiences with parents and others. This presupposes that everyone has the ability to choose his/her sexuality and desires.
3. A number of experts relate homosexuality to unresolved issues of rejection, abuse, gender identity, self-perception, fear or distrust. There are some instances where homosexual desires were first stirred in childhood through sexual contact with a homosexual adult. American singer and minister Donnie McClurkin, for example, was sexually abused in his childhood and has stated that as a result of it, he ‘struggled’ with homosexuality for most of his adult life.

Homosexuality is like any other sin with its consequences (Leviticus 18:22-25). Roman 1:26-27 says “For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.”

As Christians, we must, by God’s grace, hold fast to His plan for human sexuality: marriage between one man and one woman, one time, for the couple’s mutual joy and the procreation of children. We are called to speak God’s truth and call sin, sin. We should confront all kinds of sin, including homosexuality, but the Bible teaches that when confronting sin, “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness” (2 Timothy 2:24-25). We are also commanded to love one another. Too often, we are so consumed with confronting sin that we fail to do so in love.

First Corinthians 6:9-10 says “…or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Let me ask you: Do you know anyone that cheats on his or her spouse? Do you know anyone who steals? Do you know anyone who gets drunk? You probably have come across someone living a sinful life. I’m sure you did not abuse them though; neither did you approve of them being flogged or mistreated. So why then do we treat homosexuals with so much vitriol?

That’s not to say that we should encourage homosexuality. That’s not to say that the many gay churches springing up around the world are right in what they are doing. Just as it would be wrong to start an adulterer church or a church for liars, a church that accepts sin of any kind is failing in its mandate to be a pillar of truth.

The Bible does not condemn homosexual temptation – but acting on this desire is the sin. First Corinthians 10:13 says “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” There is a way of escape for every temptation including homosexuality.

If a relative or friend decides to come out, your reaction is very important and, whether you know it or not, it could determine their walk with the Lord.

• The first thing I’d advise is that you should act neutral. Shouting, screaming or crying won’t help the situation.
• Ask the person if he/she wants help with this sin and seek out the advice of a counsellor/pastor.
• Let him or her know, in love, that homosexuality is a sin, and pray for him or her.
• Never condemn, criticize or threaten the person (John 8:11) but show love.
• Don’t stop praying for the person; God can turn his or her life around.

Can homosexuality be overcome? The answer is yes.

Masters and Johnson, a well-known research team in human sexuality, stated that they had a 67% success rate in helping homosexuals revert to heterosexual behaviour. This means a change is POSSIBLE.

If you are struggling with same-sex attraction, it is important to make a definite decision not to give in to the desire. The desire may be strong, as is the desire to steal, smoke, cheat on your spouse etc., but with God you can overcome all temptations.

Maybe you are a Christian but are attracted to someone of the same-sex. Perhaps you are even dating somebody of the same-sex. If you want to conquer your sinful lifestyle, here are some steps you can take:

• Break off relationship with the homosexual partner.
• Identify the root cause of the desire and seek to meet it in a healthy way.
• Don’t dwell in secrecy or denial (Psalm 51:6); come out of the closet and ask for help.
• Pray for victory over the desires.
• Talk to a counsellor or pastor.
• Cultivate an intimate relationship with Christ. Donnie McClurkin mentioned that, for him, overcoming homosexuality was beyond praying, but finding out who he is in Christ.
• Keep your mind and body pure. (Proverbs 4:23)
• Watch the company that you keep, and don’t assume that you will be able to resist temptation if you keep company with practicing homosexuals.
• Be accountable to someone.
• Face the fact that change is hard work. You have to consciously put your desires and actions under control.

Many sexuality experts have noted that religious discipleship and mentoring is a major factor in overcoming homosexuality for many individuals.

The fight against homosexuality is a fight of honour. You should not accept things as they are; fight for a change (1 Timothy 6:12). The change might not be instantaneous; you must therefore regularly dwell in the presence of God and work on yourself.

Be encouraged, a change is possible!