There are things in life one just has to go through at different stages of life. Those things don’t announce their happening neither do you invite them, but they just happen. One of such things is discouragement. We all experience it whether we are rich, poor, young or old.

The web dictionary describes discouragement as the feeling of despair in the place of obstacles. From the definition we can see that discouragement does not happen without any cause. You don’t wake up one day and decide you are going to be discouraged, but things just happen that could deprive you of your confidence, hope or enthusiasm.

Those circumstances could be:

•  Rejection – Deserted by your spouse or parents; Refused admission to the university; Cannot find a job
• Betrayal- Someone you trust does something you least expected of them.
• Abuse- Verbal or physical abuse from spouse or parents
• Guilt- Can’t forgive yourself for what you have done
• Death- Your loved one suddenly died and you had all your hope in them

The list goes on and you can add your own because although it has the same negative common factor but it differs from person to person.

How do I know that I’m discouraged?

Amongst many signs of discouragement, the following are a few :

• Negative thoughts- Images or unpleasant ideas that may become obsessions. You end up believing they are true if you keep pondering on them, e.g “I will never get married,” “No one finds me attractive,” “ Life has no meaning for me,” “If I get married again my spouse might cheat on me or they might die like the first one.”
• Insomnia- Difficulty initiating sleeps or maintaining sleep, or both.
• Overeating or Loss of appetite- Comfort eating which leads to uncontrolled eating or eating disorder.
• Forgetfulness- The mind is occupied by discouragement it cannot remember the everyday simple things

Overcoming discouragement

• First of all do not be in denial or start blaming other people for the way you feel. Face your own challenge.
• Turn your energy into something meaningful so that you don’t keep thinking about your setbacks.
• Helping other people can be very therapeutic, rather than wallowing in your own problems or allowing your problems to drown you try and reach out to somebody. You will be amazed at how doing something good for somebody else helps you forget and overcome your own troubles.
• Try again; Like Winston Churchill said “Never, ever give up.”
• Write down your new ideas. The minute you start writing, more ideas will flow through your mind and make sure to follow up with appropriate action.
• Set new goals. Setting new goals will help you see why something did not work out in the first instance.
• Forgive. Forgiveness is very vital to your healing. As a matter of fact your healing begins the moment you forgive.

One more point before I stop, let your discouragement become a motivation for you to pray. There is nothing God cannot do and the surest way to approach Him is praying. The Bible in 1 Peter 5:7 says Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you, so you don’t need to carry it alone when His hands are open wide to receive you.