“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” (Colossians 4:6 NKJV)

Communication is an art necessary for the success of any relationship. It is beyond spoken words, it involves emotions, facial expressions, tone, body language etc. Men and women communicate differently, so it is therefore imperative that you learn to be an effective communicator and listener.

Effective communication involves letting your partner know where you are emotionally, intellectually and physically, it is not a shallow discussion of events and people.

Experts have identified five levels of communication in marriage:

1. Frivolous level – casual talking, level of acquaintance
2. Factual level – sharing information, digging into the knowledge of various subjects
3. Fellowship level – sharing of ideas, judgments and philosophies. At this stage one can risk rejection of beliefs.
4. Feeling level – sharing of emotions and feelings
5. Freedom level – gut level sharing. Complete openness with mate. Sharing of deepest fears, dreams, ideas or feelings without fear of rejection. This is the secret of lasting love.

It is estimated that humans spend 70% of our waking time communicating, 30% of which is talking. This means that over half of our communication is non-verbal. We therefore have to be aware of what we communicate with our bodies as well as with our words.

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