“The words of the reckless pierce like sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverb 12:18 (NIV)

There is an old adage that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”And an adage is a traditional saying which expresses a common experience or observation. It conveys ancient wisdom that expresses a general truth which overtime has become acceptable. Sticks and stones indeed can break a person’s bone but the effects most times are neither long-lasting nor life-altering. But a reckless word, contrary to this adage, possesses the capacity to crush a person beyond their physical body.

Words, either spoken or written, are means of communication. We convey our thoughts, feelings and emotions through our words. Though intangible, our words carry enormous weight, much more than we realize or think. They often impact people’s lives for decades, even when the speaker has long forgotten what he or she said, thereby providing the courage to either press on or one more reason to give up.

In this part of the world (Nigeria), there is a saying that likens the effects of our words to a raw egg smashed on the ground. When you smash an egg, it’s impossible to still have it as a complete piece (shell and content). To make it clearer, Jodi Picoult said (and I totally agree with her), “Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” This saying gives us an insight into the effects or power of words. Once uttered, it can’t be unuttered or retracted. You can retract a word verbally or in writing, but in the minds of the person you uttered that word to, whether good or bad, it will always linger. So there is the need for us to be careful with our words.

Someone once narrated to me the effect of her friend’s mother’s words on her life, after the separation of her parents as a pre-teen. She had difficulty coping with the sudden change of having to live with a parent. With the subsequent arrival of a new woman of the house less than a year after her mother’s departure, she became rebellious. One day, this dear old lady (her friend’s mother) called her and asked her this simple question: “Where are you going to?” She was unable to answer.  She then sat her down and spoke lovingly to her, greatly encouraging her. Those words spoken to her on that particular day, which began with a question, changed the course of her life forever.

Some have however not been this fortunate to hear words that set them on the right course for the rest of their lives. Rather than words of encouragement, affirmation and inspiration, all they have heard are words of discouragement, criticism and demoralization—words that have constantly plowed or beaten them down. When we are not careful with the choice of ours words, we do more harm than good and most times end up leading people on the negative or destructive paths.

In a world where feelings of unwantedness, insecurity and despair are prevalent, our words should be used to build up lives, make people feel wanted, useful, secured, and to bring healing to the downtrodden or hurting. In our day-to-day activities, our conversations should be guided by Ephesians 4:29, which admonishes us not to allow unwholesome (unhealthy) words come out of our mouths; rather, they should be words that are suitable for the moment and edify(words that build up and give grace to our hearers). We should always bear in mind that our words have the capacity to shape other people’s reality. We could be piercing them with a sword or soothing them with the balms of our lips.