And a woman who has a husband, who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. – 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 NKJV

If you are a believer, God specifically forbids you from marrying an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). However, if you have a spouse who is an unbeliever, the Bible does not permit you to divorce him/her. That is precisely what the opening scripture states.

You can win your spouse over with your attitude, love and dedication. So don’t give up on him because he is not a believer. And don’t look for the way out either. Remember, divorce is not the solution to any marital problem (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).

Here are things you can do:

• Pray for your spouse. The spiritual governs the physical; you can win your spouse’s salvation on your knees. God can use your marriage to show His love to your spouse.
• Develop the right attitude. Let your attitude and words depict Jesus (1 Peter 3:15); you don’t necessarily have to open your Bible to preach to him. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says “Wives, be submissive to your husbands, that even if some do not obey the word that they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”  Deal with him with love and respect. 1 Corinthians 13 should be your love compass.

Your spirituality is not a form of superiority; it should breed maturity in you (Philippians2:3-4). Be Christ-like in your dealings with your spouse (1 Timothy 4:12). You should strive to live peaceably with him, by being respectful and submissive.

•  Be careful of what you focus on. Don’t focus on the hurt – the loneliness of being in church by yourself or the harsh words that might have been directed towards your faith. Forgive his harsh actions and inconsideration. Don’t try to act like the martyr for your family; allow the Holy Spirit do His work in him.
•  Seek his permission before attending any service, especially if he does not like you staying out for too long or late. Now, I am not suggesting obedience to your husband to the detriment of the Word of God. But as long as his instructions are in line with the Word of God, please obey him.

You can invite him for special functions like Father’s Day, Couples’ Dinners, and Movie Nights etc. he may well be happy to come along.

• Help your children to understand, if necessary, the fact that their father doesn’t know God (yet), and encourage them to pray for him as well.

You might say “I have done all the above but there is no change in him.” If you are in this situation, remember that the time and the season might not be given to us to know, but be assured that God is still in the heart-changing ministry (Proverbs 21:1).

Don’t be discouraged…